Millie's story: Coming out and being fully me

Millie, 20, shares the story of how she came out, and offers advice to anyone who might be going through a similar experience. 

Date: 21st July 2025 | Author: Millie

Realising the truth

I was 14 when I first realised I was a lesbian. Something inside me just clicked. It was a process mixed with fear and curiosity, like finding a piece of myself I didn’t even know was missing. I didn’t come out until I was 18 and at university. That gap, between knowing and saying, felt huge. It was full of fear, hiding myself away and wondering if things would ever get easier. But when I said the words ‘I’m gay’ out loud to my family, the world didn’t fall apart. In fact, it got a little brighter.

Every time someone says who they are, whether it’s whispered in a bedroom or shouted at a Pride parade, the world becomes a better place.

 A lighter, happier life

Since coming out, life has honestly felt lighter.

Before, I spent so much time avoiding certain topics around the people I love, feeling like my sexuality was a secret I had to keep private. It was exhausting and sad. I didn’t realise how much energy I was spending trying to hide until I didn’t have to anymore.

While coming out may not magically fix all your problems – life is still life with all its highs and lows whatever your sexual or gender orientation – I can now talk freely about things that matter to me without holding back. Even being able to say ‘she’ when talking about a crush feels life-changing. That freedom, even in the little things, makes a huge difference.

Being gay has gone from being something I was always (painfully) aware of and thinking about to something that’s just a natural piece of who I am. It is not the only thing about me, but it’s part of who I am and it’s a part I’m proud of. It’s in the way I love and the community I feel at home in. It’s not a label that limits me: it’s just one of the things that makes me me.

You are enough

Last year was the first year I felt I could celebrate Pride Month openly – I went with my mum and best friend to a Pride parade and it was wonderful! I had spent so much of my life worrying about telling the people close to me that I’m gay, but the reality was that it only made my relationship with my family fuller and more real. The event was a celebration of love, visibility and resilience. Pride Month is a reminder that every person deserves to feel safe being exactly who they are – not just during June, but every day.

Coming out isn’t easy for everyone. It can take time. And for some people, it may not feel like an option just yet.

If that is the case, know that your identity is still valid. You do not need to be ‘out’ to be real. You are already enough.

When you’re ready, sharing who you are can be one of the most powerful and liberating things you will ever do. It opens doors to a community and sense of joy that you didn’t even know was possible.

So if you’re reading this and still figuring things out, then know that you are not alone. And that there is nothing braver or more beautiful than being exactly who you are.